Squaring Circles More Articles

Over 80 articles are published on  http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Gerry_Neale by the author

Funny Masquerade We Can Play Around Emotional Issues

It’s funny how we can know deep-down that we have fundamental emotional issues, yet we do not want to admit them to relatives or friends. So we don’t tell them. And not telling them can also rule   out in our mind us seeking any form of professional help either. Why? Because to do that could be tantamount to admitting to the world publicly that we did have issues, that we had lost the plot, and we do need help. But might we be fooling ourselves? Yes! I am afraid I believe we could be!

Aren’t we are operating in disguise? Couldn’t we think we are hiding our issues completely, when others have detected them? Isn’t the truth that despite the fact we have emotional issues, we still haven’t admitted it intellectually to the most important person involved – ourself! No admittance: so we don’t do anything about it to help ourselves either!

That means our emotional masquerade has been born and nurtured and unless and until corrected, it will begin to flourish and be patterned.

We can go on trying to refute to ourselves the reality that actually we do have issues. These maybe about ourselves – our fears and phobias , or maybe about our family or relationships. Ironically, because we know we aren’t handling things well, we can then contrive to make it worse!

We can succumb to the need first to pretend we are happy with our lot anyway. We put on a jolly front. Yet we know we are not. And as it fails to convince us, sub-consciously we know something else has to be done.

This can trigger the need to bring our intellect more into play to demonstrate our effectiveness at the expense of our unresolved emotions. To do this requires us to develop an added zeal and commitment about our work. Especially this can involve changing our approach to perceived tasks at work or at home. Often we can upgrade these to an urgent status, when it can be questionable whether in some cases they are even necessary.

And we can find it a seemingly very effective strategy too. Our work rate appears to have multiplied while the emotional issues seem to have been banished. In fact we can deem it so successful that if our hidden emotional issues should happen to be suddenly inflamed further by some unanticipated event, we have ready-made solutions!

We can intensify the pretence that nothing is wrong and also put our foot down a bit more on the ‘zeal’ button and, hey presto, the problem seems solved.

Or is it?

Don’t we ourselves begin to sense that others close to us have detected how we are beginning to run circles round ourselves? Doesn’t their tone and their body language alone put us on notice? So don’t we then try a yet additional ploy?

That’s when our attempt at open self-justification can start to set in. ‘Oh! How busy we are!’ ‘No time to think!’ ‘Yes, I must get down to that next week.’ We employ every excuse in the book! Taking care of the children and all their activities, can be another one  – and often very easy to justify.

But what are doing to ourselves with all this? Getting by? Maybe, but such a compromise is rarely healthy or sustainable.

In truth we are progressively and systematically ‘de-selfing’ ourselves. In so doing, we are not allowing our emotional self to be heard or accounted for. Yet this is a vital element of human make-up enabling us to interact more effectively and at one with our fellow humans.

One might, of course, challenge this as unrealistic and impracticable. Isn’t some of this deferring of emotional issues necessary, merely as a result of the pressures on us of time and privacy?

Yes it is true any expert would confirm that reality of today’s hectic lifestyle. But they would also advocate only truly postponing an issue coupled with the clear intent to deal with it. They would caution against converting it into a habitual way of shelving things.

To a greater or lesser extent, pretty well all of us are emotionally sensitive and reactive. Acknowledging unresolved feelings betrays only common sense. It most definitely does not admit to failure just because one discusses upsets that have begun to dog one’s life.

This can be with the person much behind the issue, or if that is not possible, then with a relative or friend one can trust with the confidence. Almost inevitably they will welcome the chance to share their own, rather than avoid the discussion.

Often merely understanding better the dynamics behind issues is more than half the battle won. Yet we seem to deny that just as we are capable of feeling untoward emotions, that somehow we are not equally equipped with the ability to learn how to manage them better.

There are some excellent counsellors around, many who already have the Tshirt for coping with just the dilemma one believes is unique to oneself. From such people can come not just a sense of release but greater ability to help oneself – and others, in the future.

But meanwhile the sheer scale of wisdom residing in one’s family, friends and colleagues never ceases to amaze me. Why ever do we spurn it!

To stop the masquerade and address it, surely, must make for a truer form of happiness?

For more articles on Psychology and Achievement check on Gerry Neale Ezine Articles

Gerry Neale is the Author of an intriguing self-discovery novel in Paperback ISBN 978-0-9572169-0-7 which is available at www.amazon.co.uk. More book information is available at www.squaringcircles.co.uk

Squaring Circles A Novel For The Abused Child Now Adult

I would urge anyone who, even much later in life, still suffers from the impact of child abuse, to read "Squaring Circles: From The Dark Into The Light" www.squaringcircles.co.uk It is written by Gerry Neale and published in paperback by Lyricamus Limited ISBN 978-0-9572169-0-7

This is an unusual book. It is a self-help/self-discovery book but written as a novel. Why? Because, first, the author has written it in the first person through the eyes and heart of the hero to catch every nuance of the story. Second, he is convinced as a result that the reader can read, feel and sense much more of the emotional turmoil involved in tackling inhibitions and traumas laid down by childhood patterning. In this way the reader can be helped to start that process themselves reassured that, no matter how painful, it can be done.

Every success in your search for release and understanding.

The following blogs can be helpful too.
www.squaringcircles.co.uk
http://psychologysimplified.blogspot.com
http://cognitivementors.blogspot.com