Happiness Killer!
If you do actually want to be sad and stay sad, don’t make any decisions that could impact on your life! It will, of course, classify you as an unhappy “Maximiser” according to research by Professor Joyce Ehrlinger of Florida State University, but at least you won’t risk making the wrong decision? It seems we all have a choice. We can choose to be “Maximisers or Satisficers”. Yet the behavioural difference between them is profound in both its nature and its results.
I have already written on the Five Levels of Happiness as a way of achieving full happiness across one’s life. But of course that involves making a whole gamut of different choices or decisions related to each and every aspect of our life. Professor Ehrlinger has concluded that many of us are capable of falling at the first fence!
Why?
Because if we are inclined to think far too much about making a decision in the first place, we are very likely to risk adopting an unhappy existence, always fretting about whether the decision is the right one or not. For example, what happens if it is wondering “Should I really go to a friend’s party? Should I change my job? Or even, should I really say yes to this marriage proposal?” One can heap deep unhappiness on ourselves by not making a choice if we live in constant fear of making the wrong decision.
And even if apparently in regard to some choice presented to us, we do bring ourselves to make a decision as a Maximiser, we can then lead a life of unending rumination, tormenting ourselves over whether it was the right move! If this describes us, then the research says we never enjoy the psychological benefits of commitment and our life becomes one overladen by grief. It could strike at the root of potential relationships or career opportunities, multiplying the feeling of unhappiness.
The opposite seems true of “Satisficers”. They have patterned a different behavioural approach altogether. They think the issue through as far as they can and then when they arrive at the final element of doubt, they are far more inclined to listen to their instincts, their sixth sense. If it says, “Do it!” Then they do just that. They are happy that if it works out - then fine, and if it doesn’t - then they will not hold it against themselves or give themselves grief over it.
In my experience of observing myself and others, I think there is another clear difference between “Maximisers” and “Saticficers.” Simply stated, “Maximisers” flirt with the danger of striving to be perfectionists and no less. Satisficers” on the other hand, are much more pragmatic about their own fallibility. And they are much more comfortable in their own skin. They also have a higher sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
For Maximisers, happiness can appear a luxury they cannot afford. But for Satisficers they are far more open to happiness. They let it in and enjoy it.
Happiness is so often there for our taking. Clearly we can kill it or accommodate for it in pretty well everything we do!
Happy Christmas And A Happy New Year!Gerry Neale
