“Do As I Say, Not As I Do!”

I find the results of the survey conducted by Mothercare fascinating. It is referred to in a report in the Daily Mail today and is worthwhile reading  if one is doubtful  whether and how parents pattern their children to pattern their children!

The survey focussed on the types of expression we use to admonish children in 2011.

Whether we like it or not, what surprised many of the 2000 mothers who took part was the sheer extent to which so many of the very things our parents said to us as children we then repeat to our children.  Even more surprising is that while today we still may not understand the literal meaning of some of the expressions or be aware of their origin, we ourselves still use them with our own children. Perhaps more remarkable is how today’s children soon grasp their intent without necessarily understanding them!

Those surveyed suspected their parents had used the old fashioned expressions because they were too busy to explain the real reason why they wanted the children to respond in a particular way, mothers of today have found the same is true for them.

Not wanting to get drawn into justifying the ‘Whys’ and ‘Where Fors’, most delivered the old sayings with a particular tone of voice, and found them just as effective as they were for our parents and, one suspects, our grandparents! A good number admitted stopping the sentence hallway through when they recalled their own childhood!

“Who is she? The Cat’s Mother?”

“It’ll end in tears”

“Ask your father!”

Interestingly, as many as three quarters of those sampled felt compelled to acknowledge how difficult it must have been for their parents and as a result of them being better able to empathise with their parents, were now much closer than they were.

Maybe increasingly, research will establish whether some children walk or stand like their parents because they have copied that too, rather than it having an entirely genetic origin. Also I have seen so much evidence to suggest that we can copy even the way our parents thought of themselves. This can result in both positive and negative outcomes for us.

If you want to cut and paste the link, this is it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2068447/Because-I-said-Modern-mums-impart-exactly-words-wisdom-mothers.html

The Daily Telegraph have covered it too.

Best Wishes

Gerry Neale

Author of Self Discovery Novel called "Squaring Circles"

www.squaringcircles.co.uk