Trying As AdultsTo Square The Circles We Constructed In Our Childhood Can Often Be Achieved When We Share Issues With Strangers

In Childhood we can so easily encircle ourselves with defensive patterning to protect us from emotional hurt. So often our immaturity at the time meant that the defences we built were not going to be particularly effective for long term use. Nevertheless, we could have kept them intact and a total secret as we went on trying to make them more effective. All too easily we could have perpetuated this as we lived on through our teens into our twenties, thirties and beyond.

Outwardly such limited evidence of those childhood patterns we disclose inadvertently to those close to us, causes them to judge us as a person by those very patterns. Yet they can have no worthwhile role to play in our adult lives. Whether we are aware of this or not, we can at best become utterly determined not to share with our partners or family, the events which caused us to encircle ourselves with an emotional shield. At worst we would not necessarily admit even to ourselves the intensity of our secret feelings felt since our childhood, or even that we remembered them clearly.

So what can happen when at last we begin to realise, sometimes after 40, 50 or even sixty years, that these circles of defence are no longer valid, no longer represent our own personal view of 'us' and are no longer welcome within ourselves. Yet we find it difficult if not impossible to share it at home.

So we share it either with a complete stranger who is a cognitive counseller, and there many good ones, or with someone we have not met either on- or off-line. Unable previously to want even to recall or discuss these secret feelings with our family, somehow we then can share them with someone previously unknown to us. Also we can find that the impact this has on them is such that they can share past unconfided features of their lives.

The psychology involved can of course be professionally monitored by a qualified counsellor, yet the emotional release achievable between strangers can be as profound even if there was no professional guidance.

I would be very interested in any similar experience you may have had, if you feel able to share this with me, as I am researching this.