What, In Short, Is The Origin Of Our Anger?

One simple way ( and sometimes too simple!) is be sure to direct one's anger and frustration at curing the problem rather than personalising it by focusing it on the one or more people you feel caused it. This helps everyone affected to swing in behind the solution.

A second way and one needing more cognitive practice, is to accept the principle that each of us make ourselves angry. Yes Really! No-one else does! We have a clear picture of the way we want things to be and someone or something has suddenly challenged that picture. But remember it is our picture of how things should be and could well not be shared by others.

One other big No-No in terms of natural justice and remedying any issue, is to vent our anger and frustration on a person who had nothing to do with it but happens to be in our firing line. An example? Telephoning a Help-Line. Venting anger on the person at the call centre very rarely works. Yet sharing with them the cause of ones anger and frustration most often does work.

One thing is for sure the more often we react in the same way in anger and frustration, in front of our children, the more they will adopt the same behaviour.

Gerry Neale

Squaring Circles